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Autoblowjob is the act of oral stimulation of one’s own penis as a form of masturbation.
History
Egyptologist David Lorton says that many ancient texts refer to autoblowjob within the religion of Egypt, both in the realm of the gods and among the followers performing religious rituals. According to Lorton, the sun god Ra was said to have created the god Shu and goddess Tefnut by fellating himself and spitting out his own semen onto the ground.
Michel Foucault cites Artemidorus as identifying the act of “taking [one’s] sex organ into one’s [own] mouth” as one of three ways to commit “relations with oneself.” Artemidorus thought that dreams of this “unnatural” act portended the death of one’s children, loss of one’s mistresses, or extreme poverty.
While fairly few pornographic movies involve autoblowjob, Ron Jeremy is notable in part for his 1970s examples on film.
Frequency
Few men possess sufficient flexibility and/or penis length to safely perform the necessary frontbend. However, increased flexibility achieved via gravity-assisted positions, and physical training such as gymnastics, contortion, or yoga may make it possible for some.[citation needed] American biologist Craig Bartle reported that fewer than 1% of men can successfully orally contact their own penis. Previously, autoblowjob was considered by behavioristic science a problem rather than as a variety in sexual practice.
Autoblowjob in modern culture
Autoblowjob drawing.
Autoblowjob has received coverage in the media. Lists of miscellaneous information should be avoided. Please relocate any relevant information into appropriate sections or articles. (April 2008)
The topic has also been used as the basis for comedy. Bill Hicks elaborated an oft-quoted riff on the subject of blowjob: “A woman one night yelled out, ‘Yeah, you ever try it?’ I said, Yeah, almost broke my back.” Hicks also followed up with this: “I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you’d be in this room alone right now… watching an empty stage.”
In the 2006 movie My Super Ex-Girlfriend the main character, Matt, is on a subway train reading a newspaper about a superhero. He asks his best friend Vaughn if he could have any power what would he want. Vaughn replies, “To gratify myself orally.”
The act also featured in an April 18, 2000 Saturday Night Live skit featuring host Tobey Maguire as a yoga instructor whose student, played by Will Ferrell, distracts the entire class by managing, after years of trying, to fellate himself.
In his semi-autobiographical novel The Hand-Reared Boy (1970), the writer Brian Aldiss describes group masturbation practices at a British boys’ boarding school. One boy with an especially large penis is capable of fellating himself, a fact that the narrator, Horatio Stubbs, verifies.
Kevin Smith later developed a similar theme in his debut film Clerks, in which the main character, Dante Hicks, is goaded by his comedic foil, Randal Graves, into admitting that he once attempted the act but could not reach his penis, after Graves has related to Dante that his cousin Walter died while attempting the act; a setup that results in a later payoff at the end of the film. A coroner observing a corpse being moved into an ambulance relates a story about the strangest death she ever encountered. Randal: “This has got to be the weirdest thing you’ve ever been called in on.” Coroner: “No, I once had to tag a kid who broke his neck trying to put his mouth on his penis.”
Writer/director Larry David, in his 1998 film Sour Grapes, included a few mentions of the topic, with muted shots of a lead actor fellating himself occasionally throughout the movie.
The Viz comics have featured fake advertisements (also published in “Roger Mellie’s Ad Break,” a compilation of Viz fake adverts) about autoblowjob, including slogans such as “Learn yoga and give yourself a blowjob.”
In the 2001 movie Saving Silverman, actor Jack Black talks about taking yoga to become able to perform autoblowjob (though in the movie, he only says “… oh, and the fact that I like sucking …” before being interrupted by his friend, who’s quite shocked). The same friend attempts autoblowjob, but is interrupted by a phone call.
In the spoof movie Scary Movie 2, David Cross’ character is frustrated at the offer of receiving oral stimulation from another, perceiving that everyone thinks he needs constant assistance due to his being wheel chair bound. He refuses the offer and quickly opts for self-stimulation.
In the 2006 movie Shortbus, one of the main characters, James, eventually, through aid of a gravity assisted position, succeeds in fellating himself in his lounge room.
In Chuck Palahniuk’s Invisible Monsters, he alludes often to the concept of autoblowjob.
On his Gag Reflex tour, Jimmy Carr has asked men in the audience to put their hands up if they have never attempted autoblowjob. Very few put their hands up. Carr has also mentioned that this is his favorite part of the show.
In the 2004 film It’s All Gone Pete Tong, Frankie Wilde’s manager recalls to Frank a dream he had about fellating himself.
Tré Cool of Green Day has on one instance jokingly said that he “could suck his own”, causing Billie Joe and Mike Dirnt to nearly fall out of the couch with laughter.
In the episode “Breaking Out Is Hard to Do” of the animated series Family Guy, the character Peter Griffin attempts to fellate himself.
The Bloodhound Gang’s song Yummy Down On This (which is about blowjob) refers to autoblowjob in the opening line “Ouch, it won’t reach my mouth/If I could do it myself, I’d probably never leave the house”.
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